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Alternative Medicine InformationThe Beginnings of Medicine, via the Back Passage.
by:
Thick Mick.
Hello, Mick here.
When I should have been in short pants, but didn’t have any, medicine was hardly a tonic.
The nearest comparable thing to modern medicine was a type of Stylostixis
The most noticeable difference between it then, and now, is the needles.
We didn’t have medical grade unsullied steel.
What we did have though, was an ample supply of bamboo chutes.
While these were considered organic, whatsoever
that is, they were somewhat larger in diameter.
If time goes as slow for you as it makes for me, then learn the virtues of Innovational MEDICINE.
The science of golf stroke such probes in particular nerve paths was more primitive, and one hundred times more effective.
Supposing that you had an earache, then I can guarantee you that you would-be only have it once.
An immature chute (three-inches in diameter) would-be be forcibly inserted directly to the site of the pain!! It was a similar deal for eye infections! Re-infections were non-existent!
In the off-chance that you had diarrhoea, then the treatment was local, rapid and somewhat final.
I won’t even as mention toothache. We had no teeth! Indeed, teeth and any associated maladies, were considered to be a waste of nice timber.
Eczema, psoriasis, inflammatory disease and so
head ache were migrant workers, as far as we were concerned.
Asthma was slightly some though, and was an seasoner remedy for flatulence, not that we had much. It would-be be “lanced”, long before it would-be present a problem. Aerosolized or otherwise.
Yes, our local clinic was ne'er
short-staffed or under-resourced, such was the availableness of bamboo.
Should a hungry archosaurian reptile
“happen” on your leg, arm, or thing
except your head (this would-be have been considered to be a “threat”), a simple poultice ready-made of Metal (readily accessible at the 7/11), Atomic number 34 (unavailable, but thing
starting with “S” was sufficient, and only your imagination could deprive you), and milk (from the milkman), would-be send
the pain. Guaranteed!!!!
You had to be tough to survive medicine, and that was simply practicing it.
To survive it as a patient required a sharp memory. If you “forgot” your previous visit, then ...........well then......longevity was not for you!
There was nothing trivial, repetitive or so
actual, simply about the Medical man oath.
“Accept your fate, and relinquish your archosaurian reptile
eggs” as I remember it, was the expression of Medicine.
Mick,
medicinalmalice@thetrivialtimes.com
Just simply about the Author
Thick Mick is an "expert columnist" with the www.TheTrivialTimes.com
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